Product: Banquet Turkey Meal

Banquet Turkey Meal
purchased at: Kroger
price: $1.00
net weight: 2.95 ounces
Calories: 230
daily price: $8.70

story: Myself being a fan of both things turkey and cheap, I saw this little item selling for a dollar and knew I had to try it. It certainly looks harmless enough, a couple slabs of turkey breast with some stuffing, mashed potatoes and peas. All things I enjoy eating under normal circumstances, unfortunately vacuum sealed and factory packaged isn't what I consider normal circumstances.

Now, I'm a veteran of TV Dinners, as a matter of fact I consider myself "a big fan." But this abomination of mankind had my stomach churning before I even removed the plastic wrap from the mashed potatoes section. The portions of the two side dishes are tiny, a couple spoonfuls at the most. The two slabs of meat in my dinner had an odd green tinge to them as well, but like a trooper I went ahead and followed the heating instructions. I had to go through the process twice because my microwave is ancient and doesn't have a carousel. So after I got as much of the meal at least lukewarm as possible, I sat down to enjoy my meal.

judgement: I started with the potatoes. They had the consistency of instant grits (for those of you that have never had grits that would make them very soupy and grainy) I like mashed potatoes that I have to mash around with my tongue before swallowing, these I could just drink if I had no spoon handy. From there I moved onto the stuffing, this was the best part of the meal. They had some real flavor to them and tasted just like stuffing should, so that was all well and good. I then devoured the peas that were surprisingly crisp and tasty. Finally, it was time to tackle the turkey. I sliced one of the slabs in half with the side of my fork like a real man and shoved a portion in my mouth. I gave it a good chew and really tried to absorb the flavor...only problem was, there was no flavor to speak of. These meat slabs were just bland and gross. If it wasn't for the fact that they were so soft and easily swallowed I might have just thrown the damn thing out right then and there. Luckily, as I write this review a day later I'm not experiencing any bowel obstruction or other form of discomfort, so I can only assume this meat wasn't tainted like I initially suspected...thank god.

bottom line: as the saying goes "You get what you pay for", but from experience I have gotten way more satisfying dishes for a dollar and sometimes less, so I'd suggest steering clear of this one...unless you don't have taste buds, in which case the different textures will entertain your tasteless tongue for the approximate 3.25 minutes it takes to eat this tiny "meal"